"I was always embarrassed by the words sacred, glorious, and sacrifice and the expression in vain.We had heard them, sometimes standing in the rainalmost out of earshot, so that only the souted words came through, and had read them, on proclamations, now for long time, and I had seen nothing…

"But before I could consider that, counting the Manolos, I'd wrecked $3,100 worth of merchandise in under three minutes, my cell phone bleated loudly. And as if the very essence of life itself didn't suck enough at that particular moment, the caller ID confirmed my worst fear: it was Her.…